Burnout? Here's How to Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance

Exhaustion and emotional depletion are widespread, often indicative of burnout. The Mayo Clinic defines burnout as a state of profound emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion stemming from prolonged stress. This condition poses significant threats to our mental health, necessitating a focus on recovery and balance.

Burnout among American adults is a growing concern, with various studies highlighting its prevalence and impact. A 2024 survey by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found that 52% of employees reported feeling burned out in the past year due to their job, and 37% felt so overwhelmed it made it hard to perform their duties.

Similarly, a 2024 report by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) indicated that 44% of U.S. employees feel burned out at work, with 45% feeling emotionally drained and 51% feeling used up by the end of the workday. These findings underscore the widespread nature of burnout among American adults, emphasizing the need for effective strategies to address and mitigate its effects.

I’ve had the profound experience of feeling burnt out in the past, which aligned me with my most authentic life and nurtured a deep awakening of the soul. I also have the pleasure of working with some of the most high-achieving C-Suite executives in Corporate America and young entrepreneurs and professionals climbing the corporate ladder.

Where should we start? Burnout is widespread and has been steadily increasing ever since COVID.  Recognizing the signs and initiating prompt intervention is crucial to safeguarding our mental health. By grasping the underlying causes and symptoms and making a plan to recharge your energy, you can embark on the path to recovery and restoration.

Understanding Burnout: More Than Just Being Tired

Burnout transcends mere fatigue; it embodies a profound state of exhaustion stemming from prolonged stress and affects all systems in the body, including the musculoskeletal, respiratory, cardiovascular, endocrine, gastrointestinal, nervous, and reproductive systems.

Research illuminates a correlation between burnout and alterations in brain structure and function. Chronic workplace stress triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline and with prolonged exposure, can rewire the brain, making it more vulnerable to mental health issues. Extended periods of stress can trigger inflammation, impairing the brain's emotional regulation and stress response and hindering executive functioning capabilities such as decision-making, focus, memory, and creativity.

Burnout symptoms manifest both physically, such as headaches, chronic fatigue, insomnia, a lack of motivation, and decreased productivity, and mentally, often inclusive of feelings of anxiety and depression, emotional disregulation, and labile moods. Emotional exhaustion precipitates feelings of hopelessness, detachment, cynicism, or not being “good enough”. Combatting burnout symptoms demands a holistic strategy, encompassing self-care, stress management, and professional intervention when necessary.

Immediate Steps to Take When You're Burning Out

Experiencing burnout necessitates immediate action to mitigate its detrimental effects. Key steps include establishing strict work boundaries, devising a recovery plan, and seeking professional help. These actions can prevent burnout from escalating and enhance overall well-being.

1. Disconnect

Disconnection looks different on everyone and you must explore what would work best for you. Maintaining a healthy work-life balance is crucial in averting burnout. Achieving this involves setting firm boundaries and realistic goals that you can stick to each day. It may include prioritizing your calendar, saying “no” to wasteful recurring weekly meetings, or not checking email after you leave the office for the day. It could also mean not looking at your phone for the first hour of each morning, scheduling two hours to pamper yourself each weekend, having strict boundaries related to summer Fridays, or blocking off a whole day each month to focus on self-care and mental well-being.

2. Delegate

The number one sign of an effective leader is the ability to delegate. Consider which tasks at work are draining you and are required but could be handled by someone else. Outsource or hire someone to take on these mundane tasks. Get really intentional with your time. If it does not directly correlate to ROI (return on investment), then exercise your ability to say “no”.

The 80/20 rule, also known as the Pareto Principle, also applies at work, whereby 80% of your immediate ROI is caused by 20% of the effort put in. Here is your reminder to reevaluate and refocus more intently on the 20%. As famously stated by Denzel Washington, “Never confuse movement with progress. Because you can run in place and not get anywhere.”

3. Reflect and Validate

Take time to reflect on what matters most in your life and your business. Consider talking your values through with a professional. Reset and refocus by exploring some of these questions:

• What do you want to be known for? What is the legacy you want to leave at work and at home?

• What is your gut instinct telling you to do? Who and what are your priorities? Are you present for them or often distracted?

• What motivates you? What influences your decisions? Is it finances, building an empire, or being an amazing parent to your children?

• If you could redesign your work/life from scratch, what would be different?

• Where do you feel most effective and valued, and where are you just busy?

• How do your professional endeavors align with your personal values?

• How can you set better boundaries?

• Where are there opportunities to simplify your life?

4. Recharge

Develop a recovery plan that works for you. For all, this means prioritizing self-care. For some, this means prioritizing activities like exercise, meditation, getting a massage, nurturing family and friendly relationships, and for many, it also includes investing in yourself and your mental health by partnering with a qualified therapist. Sometimes, this means disconnecting for a few days and enjoying a wellness retreat or weekend in nature, it may also mean exploring more of your spirituality.

I would suggest taking a half hour to journal on the five tasks or items that drain your energy and the five activities that replenish and recharge you. Get crystal clear about where you thrive and where you feel depleted so you know how to shift your attention and time. In the words of Rumi, the thirteenth century poet, “beautiful days do not come to you, you must walk towards them.”

5. Rebuild Your Energy

Rebuilding energy is paramount in preventing burnout and ensuring overall well-being. Simple lifestyle adjustments can profoundly enhance both mental and physical health. A diet rich in nutrients, engaging in regular physical activity, consulting with your primary care physician for bloodwork, deep breathing, human connection, adequate sleep, proper hydration, and planning activities outside your daily routine all help to support overall physical and mental health. Give it some thought, make a plan, and get going.

Adopting these straightforward lifestyle modifications is the initial step towards energy rebuilding and burnout prevention. It's important to remember that incremental changes can cumulatively lead to significant improvements. Prioritizing health and well-being is essential for sustaining a balanced and healthy lifestyle.

~ Victoria Roger, LCSW - Therapist and Founder of Inner Harmony NY based in Massapequa, NY and serving clients across New York State

Finding Purpose: Unlock Your Passion and Fulfill Your Potential

As a therapist, I hold the conviction that the quest for purpose is a deeply personal odyssey. My clients typically fall into two different categories: younger adults who are grappling with a balance between careers and happiness vs. older middle-aged adults who have reached the pinnacle of their professional and personal lives but do not feel fulfilled. The one very common characteristic between both groups is that they are often contending with fleeting feelings of happiness and a lack of meaning in their lives.

This search for fulfillment is one that necessitates a profound exploration of one's passions, values, and beliefs. It's also a journey that requires careful introspection, honesty, and authenticity. Often, it's helpful to have a tour guide such as a therapist or a life coach to help navigate your innermost desires, beliefs, and barriers toward growth.

The Psychology Behind Purpose and Meaning

Before we dive into the different philosophies, teachers, and theories regarding purpose, it’s important to take a moment to review some of the research on the correlation between a robust sense of purpose and enhanced motivation, happiness, and overall mental well-being.

According to a 2019 study in the Journal of Positive Psychology, individuals who described their lives as having more purpose and meaning also reported higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction. A 2019 study from Harvard Medical School also found that individuals with a sense of purpose had a lower risk of stroke and cardiovascular issues, linking a sense of meaning directly to better physical health outcomes.

Additional research also attributes that a robust sense of purpose is linked to lower rates of depression and anxiety, and higher levels of resilience, happiness, and a longer life expectancy. Individuals with a clear purpose exhibit superior life goals and a pronounced sense of direction. This enables them to pursue diverse endeavors and cultivate a profound sense of fulfillment.

Theories and Frameworks on Purpose:

Purpose and passion are concepts that have been studied by great teachers for years. Finding your purpose in life is a deeply personal and often transformative journey, and over time, many theories and frameworks have emerged to help people navigate this search. While there's no one-size-fits-all approach, here are some prominent theories and notable teachers that have explored purpose at great length:

1. Ikigai

"Ikigai" is a Japanese concept that translates roughly to “a reason for being.” It suggests that the key to finding purpose is the intersection of four elements:

1. What you love (your passions)

2. What you're good at (your talents)

3. What the world needs (your contribution)

4. What you can be paid for (your vocation)

By identifying where these four areas overlap, you can discover a fulfilling purpose that aligns with both personal fulfillment and societal contribution.

2. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Abraham Maslow’s theory posits that human beings are motivated by a hierarchy of needs, with self-actualization (achieving one's full potential and purpose) sitting at the top. According to Maslow, once your basic needs (physiological, safety, social, and esteem needs) have been met, you move toward self-actualization, where purpose and personal fulfillment emerge. It suggests that finding purpose often involves personal growth and realizing your fullest potential.

3. Viktor Frankl’s Logotherapy

Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, developed Logotherapy, which emphasizes that the primary drive in human beings is not pleasure (as Freud suggested) but the pursuit of meaning. Frankl argued that even in the most challenging circumstances, finding meaning or purpose in life is essential for survival and happiness.

Frankl believed that purpose can be found by:

• Creating work or deeds that contribute to others.

• Experiencing love and connection with others.

• Finding meaning in suffering, by reinterpreting challenges as opportunities for growth or learning.

4. Arthur Brooks’ Macronutrients for Happiness

Arthur Brooks, a social scientist, author, public speaker, and a professor at Harvard Business School who teaches the sold-out course on leadership and happiness, stated that the macronutrients for happiness are enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose. He further defines purpose as the most important one of the three, allowing us to face life with “hope and inner peace.”

Additionally, Brooks believes that a meaningful life is built around the four pillars: faith, family, friends, and work. A strong sense of purpose often comes from cultivating deep relationships, engaging in work that serves others, and having a sense of faith or philosophy that provides direction and hope. He also stresses that purpose is not a fixed destination but a journey over time; what your purpose was in your 20s is not the same as what your purpose will be in your 50s.

Lastly, Brooks argues the importance of letting go of attachment to status and worldly success as you age and instead focusing on wisdom, relationships, and spiritual growth.

5. Martha Beck’s Inner Compass

Martha Beck is a well-known life coach, author, and social scientist, who has written extensively about how to find your purpose. Her approach to finding your purpose is about listening to your inner compass, trusting your intuition, and taking inspired action based on what feels most authentic to you. She believes that by following the clues your body, passions, and curiosity give you, you can move toward a life that feels truly meaningful. Her approach to finding purpose is to:

• Listen to your body: Your body gives you signals about what feels aligned with your true self.

• Follow curiosity and passion: Look for what excites and interests you without worrying about external expectations.

• Let go of societal pressures: Your purpose isn’t confined to a label or conventional idea of success.

• Trust the process: Life will show you the way when you follow your authentic desires.

• Create space for clarity: Reduce distractions and declutter to allow your true purpose to emerge.

• Embrace change: Your purpose evolves with you over time, and it’s okay if it shifts.

Identifying Your Core Values and Beliefs

To uncover your purpose, it's crucial to grasp what propels you and what you uphold. This entails delving into your personal values, which dictate your choices and actions. When your actions resonate with your beliefs, you'll feel a profound sense of direction and fulfillment. Your inner self will find solace, and you'll be more inclined to pursue your vocation with fervor and commitment.

When examining your values, consider pivotal aspects such as relationships, professional pursuits, and personal development. Pose inquiries like:

• What are my non-negotiables in life?

• What am I most curious about?

• Where do I feel a natural pull?

• What am I interested in learning more about?

• What kind of person do I aspire to be?

• What kind of lifestyle do I wish to pursue?

• What are my values and strengths?

• What are my passions and interests?

Embracing Your Journey to Purpose

Regardless of the theory applied or reason for pursuing a deeper meaning in your life, remember, your purpose is unique to you, driving you to make a positive impact in the world. By staying true to your values and passions, you can create a life filled with motivation, happiness, and a strong sense of purpose.

In the words of Lau Tzu ”The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”. Get out there and take your first step towards your most authentic and meaningful life.

~ Victoria Roger, LCSW - Therapist and Founder of Inner Harmony NY based in Massapequa, NY and serving clients across New York State

How to Create Personal Goals…. and Crush Them!

By now, folks all over the globe fall into three different categories: Either they set goals for the New Year and are taking the steps necessary towards achieving them, they set goals and haven’t put in the work, or they never set New Year's goals in the first place. As a therapist and someone dedicated to the field of mental wellness and the advancement of personal development, I was moved to do a bit of research on why. Why is it that one group of individuals can set New Year's resolutions and crush them and the other group struggles to stay on task? Comfort zones, yes - laziness, perhaps - a lack of neuro-linguistic programming, certainly, or maybe there are barriers towards growth or trauma that needs healing.

My personal belief, having come from a mental health and business background, is that each year, we should all create business and marketing plans for our lives. Instead of operating on autopilot, perhaps we need to be more intentional about our purpose, take hold of the wheel, and develop goals, plans, and budgets to get us where we want to be.

Setting personal development goals is crucial for achieving a sense of purpose and direction in life. One can enhance mental wellness, boost motivation, and improve overall well-being through the practice of therapeutic goal setting and the formulation of smart goals.

The Psychology Behind Goal Setting

According to research by the University of Scranton, 92% of goals that are set during the New Year are never actually achieved; and one of the main reasons for this is that they were not specific enough.

Additionally, we are all neurologically hard-wired to avoid pain. Therefore, if the goal is too difficult to obtain or takes too long to achieve, our brain decides it's not worth the effort.

Instead, what we need to do is focus on the process of achieving the goal. For instance, rather than my goal being to lose 15 pounds by Summer, my goal should be to exercise for at least 30 minutes each day. In my head, the goal of showing up each day is attainable and realistic. No one describes motivation better in my opinion than Harvard Psychiatrist Dr. K, HealthyGamerGG in the podcast How to Get Motivated (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It).

Therapeutic Goal Setting for the New Year: A Fresh Approach

To embark on a fruitful goal-setting process, we must first introspect on our past endeavors, identifying our successes and failures. This reflection enables us to craft a sustainable therapeutic goal-setting strategy that resonates with our unique needs and includes lessons learned. Techniques like journaling or meditation can facilitate this introspection, meeting with a life coach or psychotherapist can also certainly help - offering clarity on your objectives and increasing awareness about your barriers towards growth.

Someone I admire and who has done an incredible amount of research in this area is Mel Robbins in her recent podcast How to Achieve Any Goal You Have in 6 Simple Steps. Backed by the latest research, here are the steps to follow:

1. Define It. Set a smart goal (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely). Decide what you want and be specific. How would you know if you achieved the goal? What’s the desired outcome? What does success look like? How long will it take?

2. Write It Down. Post your goal on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror. When brushing your teeth each morning, read the note and remind yourself how important this goal is to you. The process of writing it down and posting it somewhere you can read it daily is called “external storage.” Once you do this, the process of “encoding” begins, and the data gets transferred to the hippocampus for long-term memory. As a result, you are telling your brain what matters most and your brain will begin scanning and filtering information and connections in the world that can help you achieve your goal.

• Create a statement of intention - “I will exercise for 30 minutes each morning at 7:00 am”. Being specific and writing it down will hold you accountable for the smaller steps that it takes to reach your goal.

3. Find the Formula. Many before you have likely achieved the same goal. Work smarter. Do a bit of research and see how they have succeeded. Copy their formula, because it works!

4. Do the Reps. AKA put in the hard work. Goals are sexy and intriguing, but often there are daily tasks that are boring, time consuming, and tedious that just need to get done. Do the reps and put in the work. As mentioned previously, we are all hard-wired to avoid things that are difficult. Acknowledge that it may be difficult or boring, and make a statement in your head to do it anyway: “I know this may be boring and difficult, but I’m going to do it anyway”. This simple mantra will help you to relieve the stress and move into action.

• Use the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Method - When your anxiety creeps up or you have trepidations about your next move. In your head, think “5, 4, 3, 2, 1”, and then immediately take action. This simple mantra helps trick your brain into acting without allowing room for anxious negative thought patterns to take root.

5. Make it Fun and Easy. Pour a special cup of tea before you sit down to do the reps, light some incense or a candle, sit in your favorite chair, set a reminder in your phone, join a community, take a class, seek out a support network or online community working towards the same goal. Building a community will help you to flourish.

6. Don’t Quit!  Don’t give up, believe in yourself, and love yourself enough to see it into fruition. Every day, show up, even when it's hard or you don’t feel like it. Martin Luther King Jr. once famously stated that “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Show up again and again, be fearless, and don’t give up!

Mindfulness Techniques for Goal Achievement

In my ongoing pursuit of personal growth, I've discovered mindfulness's pivotal role in goal attainment. Through cultivating present-moment awareness, I enhance my self-awareness, enabling me to make more deliberate choices that align with my objectives. This practice empowers me to navigate my journey with greater intentionality.

Mindfulness proves invaluable in mitigating goal-related anxiety. When anxiety creeps up, mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing or somatic exercises serve as a balm, calming the mind and anchoring you in the present. This allows us to maintain composure and concentration, even when confronted with hurdles.

Several mindfulness practices have been instrumental in my life:

• Practicing present-moment awareness through meditation or deep breathing

• Engaging in physical activity, such as yoga or walking, to help stay focused and centered

• Body scans, conscious breathing, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping

• Using mindfulness apps or listening to podcasts related to my intended goals to stay motivated and on track

The journey towards growth and fulfillment is often non-linear. Yet, with the right mindset and therapeutic goal-setting techniques, you can navigate its twists and turns with determination and success.

Celebrate your small victories, show up each day, remain steadfast and diligent in your thought processes, and trust the process. It is in the journey that we discover the true essence of courage and lasting change. Growth and transformation require discomfort and pushing ourselves beyond our perceived limitations.

As always, continue to cultivate inner harmony and crush your goals in 2025! Your future self will thank you.

~ Victoria Roger, LCSW - Therapist and Founder of Inner Harmony NY based in Massapequa, NY and serving clients across New York State

Essential Manifesting Techniques for Success

As we enter 2025, it's vital to delve into the key manifesting techniques for a better life. Visualization, meditation, affirmations, and vision boards are transformative tools. They shape our reality and help us achieve our dreams.

Visualization and Meditation Practices

Visualization empowers us to mentally envision our desired outcomes. Regularly picturing our dream life conditions our minds to attract opportunities. Meditation enhances our connection to the present and sharpens our intuition, guiding us toward manifestation.

Crafting Powerful Affirmations

The words we speak and the thoughts we harbor significantly influence our reality. Positive affirmations, such as "I am worthy of a life filled with abundance and joy," reshape our self-perception. Consistently repeating these affirmations reprograms our subconscious, manifesting our dream life.

Using Vision Boards and Dream Mapping

Vision boards and dream mapping are visual aids that bring our goals to life. By gathering images and symbols of our aspirations, we create a tangible representation of our desired reality. Engaging with these tools keeps us motivated and focused on our manifestation journey.

Aligning Your Actions with Your Manifestation Goals

To truly bring your vision for 2025 into reality, it's essential to ensure that your daily actions are in harmony with your personal goals and intentions. Inspired action is the bridge that connects the power of manifestation to tangible results.

Manifestation is not just about visualizing your desired future; it's about consistently taking steps that support your aspirations. By aligning your behaviors with your deepest intentions, you can harness the transformative energy of the universe and attract the good things you wish to experience.

1. Start your day with intention. Take a few minutes to reflect on your personal goals and how your upcoming activities can move you closer to them.

2. Prioritize tasks that contribute to your inspired action. Rather than getting caught up in busy work, focus on the projects and habits that truly matter.

3. Cultivate a mindset of reality over perfectionism. Remember that progress, not perfection, is the key to manifestation.

4. Regularly evaluate your actions and make adjustments as needed. Stay flexible and open to new opportunities that align with your intention.

"The greatest gift you can give yourself is the habit of taking consistent, purposeful action in the direction of your dreams." - Tony Robbins

By aligning your daily life with your manifestation goals, you'll not only experience a greater sense of fulfillment but also witness the powerful transformation that can occur when your inspired action meets the energy of the universe. Keep moving forward, and watch your personal goals become a vibrant reality.

Overcoming Blocks and Limiting Beliefs in Your Manifestation Journey

Embarking on the path of manifestation requires addressing inner obstacles. It's essential to recognize and overcome self-sabotaging patterns. Transforming negative thoughts into positive energy and cultivating resilience through self-compassion are crucial steps. These actions unlock your full manifestation potential.

Identifying Self-Sabotaging Patterns

Recognizing self-sabotaging patterns is the first step to overcoming blocks. Analyze your thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs that hinder goal achievement. Do you consistently doubt your abilities or dismiss your own worthiness? Acknowledging these patterns is the initial step towards reclaiming your power.

Transforming Negative Thoughts into Positive Energy

After identifying self-sabotaging patterns or Anxious Negative Thoughts, replace them with positive thoughts, conscious, and limitless beliefs. Challenge negative thoughts and reframe them into positive affirmations. This mindset shift enables you to overcome tests and manifest your desires.

Building Resilience Through Self-Compassion

Manifesting dreams is a journey with ups and downs. Cultivating self-compassion is vital. Treat setbacks with kindness, as you would a close friend. Negative thoughts and self-doubt will occur, but self-compassion builds resilience. It keeps you committed to your self-development practice.

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” - William James

Adopting this mindset and integrating these strategies into your journey will unlock your full potential. You will manifest the life you desire in 2025 and beyond.

Integrating Manifestation Practices into Daily Life

To manifest your desired life in 2025, visualization alone is insufficient. It necessitates the integration of manifestation practices into your daily routine. The objective is to embed these techniques into your life seamlessly, transforming them into a potent force for personal development and satisfaction.

Gratitude is a foundational practice. Recognizing the blessings and abundance in your life opens you to receive more. Begin each day by reflecting on the things you're thankful for. This could be a warm cup of coffee, the support of loved ones, or the simple pleasures often overlooked.

Adopting a positive mindset is equally vital. When confronted with obstacles, shift your focus to the opportunities for growth and learning. Employ affirmations to reinforce your beliefs and draw the life you desire towards you. Repeat statements like "I am worthy of love and success" or "My dreams are within reach."

• Incorporate gratitude practices into your daily routine, such as keeping a gratitude journal, dedicating a few minutes each morning to gratitude, or expressing thanks to those around you.

• Cultivate a positive mindset by surrounding yourself with uplifting content, engaging in self-care activities, and consciously redirecting negative thoughts.

• Utilize affirmations to affirm your dreams and build your confidence in manifesting them.

By integrating manifestation into your life, your dreams become more attainable. Your positive mindset grows stronger. This transforms your journey towards a fulfilling life in 2025 into a powerful and joyful experience.

As always, stay conscious and intentional with your thoughts and behavior and cultivate inner harmony.

~ Victoria Roger, LCSW - Therapist and Founder of Inner Harmony NY based in Massapequa, NY and serving clients across New York State

Manifesting Your Best Life in 2025

Like many of us, the idea of setting a New Year's resolution each year always seemed a bit cliche. However, many clients come to therapy each year looking for their “purpose” or as a result of negative emotions about themselves or “not feeling happy or content” with where they are in life. Until recently, I didn’t connect that well with New Year's resolutions either. This year feels a bit different, however. Only once you fully understand the neuroscience behind manifesting and motivation and put in the work to steer your life in the direction of your dreams do you truly understand how powerful the universe is at responding.

So this year, unlike many before, I am grateful for the New Year and for the conscious reminder to set a new vision for the future. Not only as we enter January 2025 but perhaps each morning for the year ahead. What we think upon grows, be mindful about the thoughts we allow to occupy space within our brains. If you have a “less than mentality”, you will likely continue to struggle, if you choose to deliberately shift your focus and attention towards abundance and success, your confidence will grow and your vision will become a reality.

Manifestation transcends mere jargon; it's a transformative practice capable of unlocking our true potential. It guides us toward a life brimming with abundance, purpose, and fulfillment. By nurturing a positive mindset, aligning our thoughts and emotions, and taking consistent action, we can tap into the universe's boundless power.

Understanding the Power of Manifestation for Personal Growth

The journey of personal growth has brought manifestation into the spotlight. This concept, which aligns thoughts, emotions, and actions to achieve desired outcomes, is pivotal for realizing our potential.

Manifestation transcends philosophical realms rooted deeply in brain neuroscience. Focusing thoughts and emotions on desired outcomes activates neural pathways, reinforcing beliefs and expectations. This neuroplasticity enables us to rewire our brains, reshaping our reality. Consistent visualization and affirmation of goals create new neural connections, making those outcomes more feasible. No one explains this better than Dr. Jim Doty, a Stanford neurosurgeon, neuroscientist, and expert on manifestation and visualization, in his recent conversation with Mel Robbins, found here: #1 Neurosurgeon: How to Manifest Anything You Want & Unlock the Unlimited Power of Your Mind.

The transformative power of manifestation lies in its ability to alter perceptions and experiences. Cultivating a mindset of abundance and possibility through positive thinking attracts corresponding circumstances and opportunities. This shift empowers us to take intentional steps towards personal growth, manifesting our envisioned reality.

Breaking Down Common Manifestation Myths

Despite its growing popularity, manifestation is often misunderstood. Some view it as a quick fix or a one-time event, while others believe it necessitates complex rituals or tools. However, the truth is that manifestation is a continuous, patient, and committed process. It requires challenging our self-limiting beliefs. By dispelling these myths, we can approach manifestation with a more realistic and empowered mindset.

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." - Wayne Dyer

Creating Your Vision for 2025 Through Clear Intentions

As we approach 2025, it's essential to have a clear vision for our lives. By setting clear intentions and designing our lives with purpose, we unlock our true potential. This empowers us to create the future we desire.

The first step involves reflecting or journaling on your deepest desires and aspirations. What do you want to achieve within the next year? What life do you envision for yourself five or even ten years from now? What values influence you? What do you want your life to look like - professionally, spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically, relationship-wise, and socially? Spend time answering these questions, allowing your imagination to run wild and your heart to guide you.

With a clearer vision in mind, it's time to formulate clear intentions. These intentions will guide you on your journey. Create concise, empowering statements that encapsulate what you wish to manifest in your life.

1. Identify your core values and their alignment with your vision for 2025. What do you care about most? What drives you? What sets your soul on fire and makes you feel at peace?

2. Articulate your personal goals and break them down into actionable steps. This part is huge, by focusing on the small steps and daily actions needed, and less on the result, it tricks your brain into becoming more motivated as you will acknowledge small gains that reinforce the continued behavior, as opposed to waiting months or even years for the long-term goal to come to fruition; which often is the reason motivation is deficient.

3. Visualize the life you want to design for yourself, inspiring your clear intentions. Take a few minutes each morning, sit at the side of your bed with your eyes closed, and practice this technique: focus on things you're grateful for and then spend time envisioning yourself succeeding in your life’s purpose. What do you look like? How do you feel? - Sit with these intentions and visions for a few minutes.

Remember, designing your life is a continuous process. Your vision may evolve over time. Embrace the journey, remain flexible, and trust that with clear intentions and purpose, you can create the extraordinary life envisioned for 2025 and beyond.

As always, live life on purpose, spend time setting your intentions for 2025, and always cultivate inner peace and harmony.

~ Victoria Roger, LCSW - Therapist and Founder of Inner Harmony NY based in Massapequa, NY and serving clients across New York State

10 Tips to Reduce Stress and Stay Present this Holiday Season

The holiday season is a time of joy, celebration, and quality time with loved ones. However, it can also bring an overwhelming amount of stress, anxiety, and pressure, which can significantly impact our mental health. As we navigate the hustle and bustle of this time of year, it's crucial to prioritize our well-being. Finding ways to stay grounded and present is essential. In this article, I'll share 10 practical tips to help you reduce stress and cultivate inner harmony this holiday season.

Remember, the key is to be kind to yourself and find a balance that works for you. With a little intentionality, you can savor the magic of the season while also protecting your mental health and well-being.

1. Stay Present - With the holiday rush on the roads, in stores, and with people buzzing about, it can be difficult to stay present during the holiday season; however, all of the magic of the season is found in the moments when you are profoundly and intentionally present. Stay present, practice gratitude, and be mindful. Daily moments of deep breathing, observing thoughts without judgment, and connecting with the present can significantly reduce anxiety.

Appreciate and find joy in the simple and free moments with your children, family and friends. Make a hot cocoa and watch your favorite holiday film on your cozy couch in your favorite pajamas. Don’t let worry and the need to deliver the “perfect” holiday steal you of your joy this season.

2. Don’t Overcommit - Effective time management is crucial for holiday preparation. Create a realistic to-do list, delegate tasks, allow help from family or friends, and schedule a few meaningful holiday activities. You don’t need to be out every night of the week and say yes to every party, invitation, or event. Balance is key, as having plans every night of the week will likely lead to burnout and feelings of exhaustion.

3. Schedule Personal Time - While socializing is a significant aspect of the holidays, prioritizing your well-being is equally important. Schedule regular breaks and quiet time for yourself to recharge and engage in healthy habits. Review your outstanding PTO benefits at work and take a few days off. Schedule a “Me” day to engage in holiday activities or relax at home with a good book and a hot cup of tea.

4. Lead with Love and Compassion - Family gatherings can sometimes be a source of stress, especially with unresolved conflicts or challenging dynamics. Making a conscious decision to lead with love and compassion while setting boundaries with unhealthy and conflict-driven family members. You know the saying: Everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about, be kind.

5. Create a budget and stick to it - As the holiday season draws near, it's crucial to manage your finances effectively. This approach helps prevent unnecessary stress and anxiety. By adopting smart shopping and gift-giving tactics, setting a realistic holiday budget, and addressing financial concerns, you can enjoy the season's true spirit without financial strain.

Manage the urge to overspend, consider crafting homemade presents, explore secondhand or vintage shops for unique items, or set a strict gift-giving limit. The pressure to maintain holiday traditions and meet social expectations can exacerbate financial anxiety. It's important to remember that your worth is not tied to your holiday budget.

6. Seek out the Positives - Seek out the positives this holiday season. Find the beauty in the lights, holiday decor, music, and smells. Focus your attention and intention on finding the positives in every moment. As the end of the year draws near, now is a great time to reflect on all the progress you’ve made, all the challenges you’ve overcome, and to focus on the things or people you are most grateful for this holiday season.

7. Moderation is key - Be conscious of your alcohol and food consumption this holiday. Make healthy decisions about your food choices and be responsible when it comes to drinking. Stay hydrated and ensure adequate sleep.

8. Hire Help - The holiday season goes by in the blink of an eye and can often feel overwhelming. Consider hiring help if you have the resources to do so. Consider hiring a cleaning crew, catering dinner, hiring a babysitter, or some help to wrap your gifts. Whatever you need, consider sourcing a bit of help to take the burden away from you so you can be intentional with your time.

9. Establish Healthy Boundaries - The holiday season, while filled with joyous gatherings, also amplifies social anxiety. It is imperative to establish healthy boundaries and strike a balance between social commitments and personal well-being during this festive period. The holiday season's whirlwind of parties and family events can be overwhelming. It is crucial to set clear limits on your time and energy. Learn to politely decline invitations that don't align with your needs or schedule.

10. Honor those before us - Some are entering this holiday for the first time since losing a loved one. Some are still struggling with a divorce or a downsized family since their elders have moved away. Be kind and compassionate to those struggling to adjust to their new normal. If you feel compelled, consider doing something special to honor their memory or care for a lonely neighbor. You never know how much your small act of kindness can mean to someone else.

Remember, the holiday season is a time for celebration and connection with loved ones. By integrating these strategies into your routine, you can navigate the holidays with more peace, fulfillment, and of course inner harmony.

~ Victoria Roger, LCSW - Therapist and Founder of Inner Harmony NY based in Massapequa, NY and serving clients across New York State

Don’t let the Winter Blues get you Down

6 Steps to overcome seasonal depression

Holy cow! The sun started to set around 4:40 p.m. this evening and although I’m typically not a fan of standard time, I did feel as though there was a lot more time with the kids after school than usual this past week. Perhaps our hibernation season is setting in.

According to the American Psychiatric Association and the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 5% of the US adult population (16 million) suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and an additional 15-20% have a milder case of the winter blues, which is not as severe as SAD but still impacts moods and energy levels.

Common signs and symptoms of SAD include persistent sadness, worthlessness, or guilt, less energy and motivation, changes in sleep, like sleeping too much or having trouble falling asleep, changes in appetite, leading to weight gain, difficulty concentrating or making decisions and wanting to stay away from friends and activities.

The main reason for seasonal depression is less sunlight in winter. This lack of sunlight messes with our body's clock and hormone balance. This can make SAD symptoms worse.

The good news is that if you identify with any of the SAD symptoms and become aware, you can make slight revisions to your daily routine and combat the winter blues. Here are a few ideas to brighten the next few months:

1. Natural Light Exposure

Sunlight helps keep our internal clock in check. In winter, less sunlight can mess with this balance. This can make us feel tired, moody, and sad. By getting more sunlight, we can keep our circadian rhythm healthy. This helps our mood and fights off seasonal change blues. Let in as much natural sunlight as you can. Open curtains, blinds, and shades during the day. Take short walks outside. Even 10-15 minutes can give you a boost of natural sunlight.

If your job/routine doesn’t allow for a lot of natural light during the day, I highly recommend trying light therapy. I remember years ago commuting to NYC every day. I would get on the train while still dark out, be inside in a high-rise building for most of the day with barely any windows, and get out of work and it would be dark out. Light therapy in the morning while taking a shower was a saving grace. It can drastically improve moods if used consistently each morning. Here is one from Amazon, similar to the one I own. Even just 10 minutes or so while you get ready in the morning can make a big difference in your day.

2. Prioritize Quality Sleep

Good sleep is vital for our health. In winter, aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night. Start a relaxing bedtime routine, try to go to bed at the same time each night, avoid screens at least 2 hours before bed, and make your bedroom sleep-friendly and cozy. Pamper yourself with a new pillow or a pillowtop mattress cover.

3. Engage in Regular Exercise

Exercise is great for moods and fighting seasonal depression. Mix up your activities or try something new. A brisk walk or jog outside, yoga or pilates, swimming or indoor cycling. Try to exercise for at least 30 minutes, most days. It boosts energy, lowers stress, and improves your overall health.

4. Nourish Your Body with Healthy Meals & Check on Vitamin Deficiencies

Eating well is important for your mood and anxiety in winter. Eat lots of whole grains, lean proteins, fruits, and veggies. Refrain from processed foods and take a multivitamin each day. Check with your primary care physician to see if you are deficient in any vitamins. Likely the large majority of us in the Northern part of the U.S. should be adding a vitamin D supplement throughout the winter months just to maintain a normal range.   

5. Mindfulness and Stress Management Techniques

Mindfulness means being fully present in the moment. It's about noticing your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations without judgment. This can help you deal with winter's low mood and sadness. Try simple mindfulness exercises, such as deep breathing when you first wake, meditation, or body scans, to check in with yourself throughout the day.

Practice gratitude by taking a few moments each evening to reflect on the positive aspects of your life, even in the midst of challenging times. Engage in mindful activities like gentle yoga, nature walks, or art-based practices to help soothe your mind and body.

Managing stress is key to fighting seasonal depression. High stress can make mental disorders worse and lower our mood. Using stress-reducing techniques can help you stay balanced and well during winter. Prioritize self-care, and try relaxation techniques like progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery to release whatever is holding you back.

6. Social Support and Community Engagement

Winter can be tough, especially for those with mental health issues like SAD. But, staying connected and involved in your community can help fight the winter blues. Being part of a community gives you a sense of belonging. Spending time with friends, trying out a new fitness facility, or volunteering at your local faith-based organization can make you feel less alone and lift your mood.

Research shows that being social and doing group activities can increase your mental well-being. Being around people who support you and doing things you enjoy can help beat the winter blues. A few ideas include joining a winter-themed club or activity group, such as a book club, knitting circle, or outdoor adventure group, or volunteering at a local organization or community center, which can provide a sense of purpose and belonging.

Stop texting and pick up the phone! Regularly schedule video calls or in-person visits with friends and family, even if it's just for a cup of coffee or hot tea. Attend local events or cultural activities, such as concerts, art galleries, or holiday celebrations.

Conclusion

The winter months can be especially challenging for those who are predisposed to depression and seeking help from a mental health professional is also recommended if you are not able to improve your moods on your own. A therapist or counselor can offer personalized support using evidence-based therapeutic approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help people cope with negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Seasonal depression, or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), is a common issue in America but by getting more natural light, making lifestyle changes, and getting help when needed, we can beat the winter blues and enjoy life to its fullest.

As always, live consciously, combat your winter blues, and cultivate inner harmony.

~ Victoria Roger, LCSW - Psychotherapist and Founder of Inner Harmony NY based in Massapequa, NY and serving clients across New York State

Happiness is an Inside Job

Everyone wants to be happier, but how? In my quest for a life filled with fulfillment and joy, one fundamental truth stands out: happiness is an inside job.

It cannot be found or acquired through external means; it cannot be purchased at the store. Instead, it is an internal state that we must cultivate and nurture from within, over and over again. Happiness is not a fleeting emotion or a destination we reach. It is a lifelong practice of retraining our brain to align our thoughts, actions, and relationships with what truly matters.

What you focus on grows, be careful about where you place your attention…

What is Happiness and How do we Cultivate More of it?

At its core, happiness is a subjective emotional state characterized by positive feelings, contentment, and a sense of well-being. It is a deeply personal experience, shaped by our individual values, beliefs, and life experiences. Happiness can take many forms, from the fleeting joy of a moment to the enduring sense of fulfillment and purpose.

The World Happiness Report identifies life satisfaction, positive and negative affect, and the presence of meaning and purpose as key components.

Happiness is a Subjective Experience

It is not a one-size-fits-all concept. What brings happiness to one person may not resonate with another. The pursuit of happiness is, therefore, a deeply introspective journey, one that requires us to explore our own positive emotions, psychological well-being, and the meaning we find in our lives.

Strategies to Increase Happiness

Happiness transcends mere fleeting emotions, serving as the cornerstone for a life rich in fulfillment and satisfaction. By nurturing personal happiness, we unlock a realm of possibilities, benefiting both ourselves and our communities. Happiness serves as the portal to enhanced life satisfaction, subjective well-being, and a more optimistic worldview.

1. Cultivate Positive Emotions

By consciously cultivating positive emotions, we can elevate our overall emotional state and personal happiness. This leads to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Engage in positive self-talk and reframe negative thoughts. Practice acts of kindness and volunteer to experience the joy of contributing to the well-being of others. Immerse yourself in activities that bring you pleasure and a sense of authentic happiness.

In the words of William James, "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another."

2. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude

Research into happiness has shown that while external factors like wealth, health, and social connections are important, the subjective experience of well-being is predominantly shaped by our internal psychological processes. Mindfulness, gratitude, and a sense of purpose emerge as significant predictors of happiness.

As someone who strives to be a happier person, I've discovered that mindfulness and gratitude are instrumental in cultivating positive emotions. By embracing the present moment and recognizing the good in our lives, we can shift our emotional state towards greater positivity and meaning.

3. Build Meaningful Relationships

Invest your time and attention in authentic and valuable relationships that reciprocate. Meaningful relationships do not just happen, they are nurtured with time, care, and effort. Happiness in relationships is often reciprocal. The joy you give to others often comes back to you and focusing on the well-being of others creates a cycle of positive emotions.

4. Find Your Purpose and Meaning

Discovering your life's purpose is a pivotal step towards achieving enduring happiness and life satisfaction. Aligning your actions with a profound sense of meaning unlocks the essence of authentic happiness. This is the cornerstone of the "Authentic Happiness Formula," a framework that propels us towards a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

The essence of a fulfilling life hinges on our capacity to cultivate and maintain happiness. This journey is one of self-discovery, personal evolution, and the pursuit of significance. By placing our happiness and well-being at the forefront, we can realize our utmost potential, forge deeper connections, and inhabit a life that is both happy and meaningful.

"Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions." - Dalai Lama

As always, live consciously (get happy!) and cultivate inner harmony.

~ Victoria Roger, LCSW - Therapist and Founder of Inner Harmony NY based in Massapequa, NY and serving clients across New York State

A Holistic Approach to Psychotherapy

When it comes to mental health, I believe a holistic approach to psychotherapy is key. This method sees the mind, body, and emotions as connected. Mental health symptoms will often manifest physically in our bodies. Tune in and pay attention - Do you ever feel fatigued, have an increased heart rate, headaches, digestive issues, changes in appetite, or have difficulty falling or staying asleep? All of these can be signs of mental health concerns, and it’s on us to recognize these symptoms and reach out for help when things become overwhelming.

At the heart of the holistic approach is the understanding that mental health conditions deeply affect our well-being. A solid holistic approach to mental health includes physical activity, good nutrition, mind-body practices such as yoga or tai chi, spiritual practices, environmental and lifestyle changes (reduction of toxins and processed foods), sleep hygiene, energy health, and bodywork such as acupuncture, reiki and massage therapy, social and emotional support, aromatherapy, herbal medicine and supplements, prescription medication if needed, and mindset shifts including self-compassion, boundaries, and acceptance.

The mind and the body are not separate. What affects one, affects the other.

Choosing the Right Therapist

If you’re not sure where to start or feel completely stuck and overwhelmed, a therapist could be a great starting point. I strongly believe that finding the right therapist is like finding a new pair of shoes. Whether you like high tops or designer heels, you must first try them on to ensure the fit is just right for you. Not every therapist will be a good fit for everyone. As such, I offer a free 15-minute initial consult to learn what got you here in the first place, what your goals for therapy are, and how I may be able to help. If I am unable to help, I would be happy to connect you with someone that can.

Exploring Different Therapeutic Modalities

There is no single way to fix mental health problems but understanding a bit more about different therapeutic models can help to focus your therapy sessions so they are most beneficial to your needs. Some of these therapeutic modalities may include cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, psychodynamic therapy, mindfulness practices, and humanistic therapy, among others. Mental health professionals use these methods to help people achieve lasting mental health and wellness.

It's important to find a therapist who fits your needs. Some of these therapeutic modalities include:

• Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors.

• Psychodynamic Therapy: Explores the unconscious drivers and childhood experiences that shape our current mental health.

• Humanistic Therapy: Emphasizes personal growth, self-awareness, and the inherent potential for positive change.

• Mindfulness: Teaches cognitive exercises that bring gentle awareness to the present moment without judgment.

• Dialectical Behavior Therapy: Combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness practices to increase the ability to tolerate stress and improve emotional regulation.

Everyone's journey is different and the list above is only a sampling of all the therapeutic modalities available. By exploring different therapies and finding a trusted therapist, you're one step closer to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Embracing Self-Care

Dealing with mental health is complex, and self-care is key. Doing things that care for our mind, body, and spirit helps us feel better overall. Take time each day to do something for yourself, whether a cycling or yoga class, or quiet time to read a self-help book. What you focus on grows. Be intentional about where you put your time and energy.

Managing stress is not just important, it’s crucial! There’s tons of medical research linking stress to physical illness such as high blood pressure, inflammation, a weakening of your immune system, fertility issues, hair loss, weight fluctuations, and more. Prioritize your self-care.

Perhaps you’d like to try a meditation class, spend an hour in your house of worship, go for a reiki session, or wake up each morning with deep breathing or a dedicated yoga practice. All these activities can help to calm the mind and reduce stress.

Taking breaks helps us stay calm and strong inside. Visualization techniques help to get rid of negative and intrusive thoughts.

Good sleep, a healthy diet, and adequate hydration are all vital too! Having a regular sleep schedule, eating foods that power brain function, exploring supplements, and drinking enough water each day can also help boost your moods.

Finding joy and laughter, staying present, and doing things we love are crucial too. It could be hobbies, nature, or time with family. These activities make us feel good and provide purpose in our lives.

Self-care is all about taking care of ourselves fully. Sometimes that also means creating boundaries and distancing ourselves from relationships that negatively affect our moods.

Building a Supportive Network

Surrounding ourselves with supportive people is key in our mental health journey. This can include family, friends, co-workers, or mental health experts. Having a strong support system helps us heal and overcome mental health challenges.

Consider reading a self-help book, joining a local support group, volunteering your time, or signing up for weekly therapy sessions to cleanse your brain of the thoughts that are no longer serving you. Whatever it is that you decide is right for you, I commend you for taking the time to focus your attention inward and for taking the steps necessary to become a more authentic and happier version of yourself.

~ Victoria Roger, LCSW - Therapist and Founder of Inner Harmony NY based in Massapequa, NY and serving clients across New York State

Signs of Mental Health Challenges

I'm passionate about mental health and how it affects us. According to a 2023 statistic from the National Alliance on Mental Illness, approximately one in five adults have experienced mental illness and that number continues to rise each year.

Psychotherapy is a key tool for finding balance and inner harmony. It helps us deal with the mind's complexities and external forces that may be stealing our joy. Therapy can change lives - I’ve seen it happen time and time again. Whether you're facing a crisis, a difficult life transition, or just want to feel more alive, therapy can help.

Symptoms of anxiety and depression are super common in this day and age of immediate gratification and social media. Psychotherapy offers a way to face these challenges with the help of experts. It leads to better self-awareness, emotional regulation, and a new sense of purpose.

Psychotherapy instills in us a stronger mind-body connection. It helps us find the reasons behind our mental health concerns. With therapies like cognitive-behavioral, mindfulness practices, family systems, and psychodynamic therapy, we learn to better manage our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

Our mental and physical health are closely linked. Stress, anxiety, and depression can show up as physical symptoms like headaches or weakened immune systems. On the other hand, physical health issues can also affect our mental state. We must be tuned in to our bodies and pay particular attention when things feel off balance.

What are Some Signs of Mental Health Challenges?

• Persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or irritability

• Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or remembering things

• Changes in sleep patterns, appetite, or energy levels

• Withdrawal from social activities or relationships

• Unexplained physical symptoms, such as chronic pain or fatigue

• Thoughts of self-harm or suicidal ideation

If you or someone you know is showing these signs, it may be smart to seek professional help from a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. Early treatment is crucial for managing your emotions and improving your overall well-being.

“Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit.” - M. Scott Peck

By focusing on our mental health, we can find inner balance, resilience, and joy. Remember, you're not alone. There are resources and support to help you on your journey.

~ Victoria Roger, LCSW - Therapist and Founder of Inner Harmony NY based in Massapequa, NY and serving clients across New York State