How to Create Personal Goals…. and Crush Them!
By now, folks all over the globe fall into three different categories: Either they set goals for the New Year and are taking the steps necessary towards achieving them, they set goals and haven’t put in the work, or they never set New Year's goals in the first place. As a therapist and someone dedicated to the field of mental wellness and the advancement of personal development, I was moved to do a bit of research on why. Why is it that one group of individuals can set New Year's resolutions and crush them and the other group struggles to stay on task? Comfort zones, yes - laziness, perhaps - a lack of neuro-linguistic programming, certainly, or maybe there are barriers towards growth or trauma that needs healing.
My personal belief, having come from a mental health and business background, is that each year, we should all create business and marketing plans for our lives. Instead of operating on autopilot, perhaps we need to be more intentional about our purpose, take hold of the wheel, and develop goals, plans, and budgets to get us where we want to be.
Setting personal development goals is crucial for achieving a sense of purpose and direction in life. One can enhance mental wellness, boost motivation, and improve overall well-being through the practice of therapeutic goal setting and the formulation of smart goals.
The Psychology Behind Goal Setting
According to research by the University of Scranton, 92% of goals that are set during the New Year are never actually achieved; and one of the main reasons for this is that they were not specific enough.
Additionally, we are all neurologically hard-wired to avoid pain. Therefore, if the goal is too difficult to obtain or takes too long to achieve, our brain decides it's not worth the effort.
Instead, what we need to do is focus on the process of achieving the goal. For instance, rather than my goal being to lose 15 pounds by Summer, my goal should be to exercise for at least 30 minutes each day. In my head, the goal of showing up each day is attainable and realistic. No one describes motivation better in my opinion than Harvard Psychiatrist Dr. K, HealthyGamerGG in the podcast How to Get Motivated (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It).
Therapeutic Goal Setting for the New Year: A Fresh Approach
To embark on a fruitful goal-setting process, we must first introspect on our past endeavors, identifying our successes and failures. This reflection enables us to craft a sustainable therapeutic goal-setting strategy that resonates with our unique needs and includes lessons learned. Techniques like journaling or meditation can facilitate this introspection, meeting with a life coach or psychotherapist can also certainly help - offering clarity on your objectives and increasing awareness about your barriers towards growth.
Someone I admire and who has done an incredible amount of research in this area is Mel Robbins in her recent podcast How to Achieve Any Goal You Have in 6 Simple Steps. Backed by the latest research, here are the steps to follow:
1. Define It. Set a smart goal (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely). Decide what you want and be specific. How would you know if you achieved the goal? What’s the desired outcome? What does success look like? How long will it take?
2. Write It Down. Post your goal on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror. When brushing your teeth each morning, read the note and remind yourself how important this goal is to you. The process of writing it down and posting it somewhere you can read it daily is called “external storage.” Once you do this, the process of “encoding” begins, and the data gets transferred to the hippocampus for long-term memory. As a result, you are telling your brain what matters most and your brain will begin scanning and filtering information and connections in the world that can help you achieve your goal.
Create a statement of intention - “I will exercise for 30 minutes each morning at 7:00 am”. Being specific and writing it down will hold you accountable for the smaller steps that it takes to reach your goal.
3. Find the Formula. Many before you have likely achieved the same goal. Work smarter. Do a bit of research and see how they have succeeded. Copy their formula, because it works!
4. Do the Reps. AKA put in the hard work. Goals are sexy and intriguing, but often there are daily tasks that are boring, time consuming, and tedious that just need to get done. Do the reps and put in the work. As mentioned previously, we are all hard-wired to avoid things that are difficult. Acknowledge that it may be difficult or boring, and make a statement in your head to do it anyway: “I know this may be boring and difficult, but I’m going to do it anyway”. This simple mantra will help you to relieve the stress and move into action.
Use the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Method - When your anxiety creeps up or you have trepidations about your next move. In your head, think “5, 4, 3, 2, 1”, and then immediately take action. This simple mantra helps trick your brain into acting without allowing room for anxious negative thought patterns to take root.
5. Make it Fun and Easy. Pour a special cup of tea before you sit down to do the reps, light some incense or a candle, sit in your favorite chair, set a reminder in your phone, join a community, take a class, seek out a support network or online community working towards the same goal. Building a community will help you to flourish.
6. Don’t Quit! Don’t give up, believe in yourself, and love yourself enough to see it into fruition. Every day, show up, even when it's hard or you don’t feel like it. Martin Luther King Jr. once famously stated that “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Show up again and again, be fearless, and don’t give up!
Mindfulness Techniques for Goal Achievement
In my ongoing pursuit of personal growth, I've discovered mindfulness's pivotal role in goal attainment. Through cultivating present-moment awareness, I enhance my self-awareness, enabling me to make more deliberate choices that align with my objectives. This practice empowers me to navigate my journey with greater intentionality.
Mindfulness proves invaluable in mitigating goal-related anxiety. When anxiety creeps up, mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing or somatic exercises serve as a balm, calming the mind and anchoring you in the present. This allows us to maintain composure and concentration, even when confronted with hurdles.
Several mindfulness practices have been instrumental in my life:
Practicing present-moment awareness through meditation or deep breathing
Engaging in physical activity, such as yoga or walking, to help stay focused and centered
Body scans, conscious breathing, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping
Using mindfulness apps or listening to podcasts related to my intended goals to stay motivated and on track
The journey towards growth and fulfillment is often non-linear. Yet, with the right mindset and therapeutic goal-setting techniques, you can navigate its twists and turns with determination and success.
Celebrate your small victories, show up each day, remain steadfast and diligent in your thought processes, and trust the process. It is in the journey that we discover the true essence of courage and lasting change. Growth and transformation require discomfort and pushing ourselves beyond our perceived limitations.
As always, continue to cultivate inner harmony and crush your goals in 2025! Your future self will thank you.
~ Victoria Roger, LCSW - Therapist and Founder of Inner Harmony NY based in Massapequa, NY and serving clients across New York State
