Unlock the Power of Positive Self-Talk
We think and feel with three minds: the conscious, the subconscious, and the unconscious. Most people go their entire lives, unaware of the script operating in the deep part of their mind, and only the awakened become aware of this script and learn how to leverage it to their fullest potential. In psychology, this voice is referred to as the “psyche” or “conscious”. In Christianity, it is referred to as the “soul.” Buddhists also refer to it as the “mind,” and Neurologists refer to it as “cognition.” Whatever and however you define this voice or inner critic, it is often the driving force behind our lives.
See what many don’t know, is that there is a voice within all of us that operates in the back of our psyche, motivating and influencing all of our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. For some, this voice is often critical, negative, anxious, or unmotivated. For others, this voice may be encouraging, safe, influential, and confident. There are a myriad of reasons for how this voice develops, our ability to become aware of the thoughts, and how to use our inner psyche to our advantage to consciously rewire negative thought patterns.
As we dive a bit deeper into the article that follows, I will outline a bit of history regarding neuroscience and neuroplasticity, ways to get in touch with your psyche, and how to consciously apply Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to your advantage to create a life worth living. All it takes is a bit of consistent, conscious effort until your new thought pattern becomes ingrained into your way of life.
Evolution of the Psyche
I understand firsthand what happens when we operate by default, not in touch with our negative thought patterns, as I have a deep understanding of anxiety and depression and have witnessed how it ravages mental health and overall well-being, influencing impulsive decision-making, a perfectionist mentality, people-pleasing behavior, substance abuse, burnout, binge eating, and self-sabotage. The insidious nature of negative thought patterns can be crushing, perpetuating a cycle of negativity that seems inescapable.
Let’s take this conversation back to the earliest homo sapien fossils, which according to fossils from Jebel Irhoud in Morocco date back approximately 300,000 years ago. Depending on which research you review, the modern-day human brain has evolved sometime between 35,000 and 300,000 years ago.
As stated many times before throughout psychology circles, males have between 40,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day, and females have between 60,000 and 80,000 thoughts per day. If the majority of these thoughts are negative, self-loathing, anxious, or unmotivated, it becomes rather challenging to reach your fullest potential.
As a rule in metaphysics commonly attributed to Esther Hicks, anything that you focus on for 17 seconds or more attracts more like-minded thoughts, which is why individuals who suffer from symptoms of anxiety or depression tend to ruminate and find it hard to get themselves out of the obsessive or negative thought patterns.
Thankfully, however, the newer body of research related to neuroplasticity teaches us that we can, through conscious and consistent efforts, rewire our brains and the way we think, thus influencing desired feelings and behaviors. In the famous words of Plato, “the first greatest victory is to conquer the self.”
Understanding the Impact of Negative Self-Talk on Mental Health
Negative self-talk profoundly affects our mental health, inducing cognitive distortion and solidifying negative thought patterns. Engaging in such self-criticism perpetuates a cycle of self-doubt, making it challenging to escape. This cycle significantly influences our daily interactions and emotional state, impacting our overall well-being.
Common manifestations of negative self-talk include: intrusive and persistent unwanted thoughts, self-criticism or low self-esteem, pessimistic thinking, and projecting anxious negative thoughts; but they can also manifest more subliminally as feeling “stuck” or not reaching your fullest potential at work.
The root of negative self-talk is often triggered by environmental factors, past traumas, the influence of social media, and external pressures/societal norms. These triggers can significantly impact our low self-esteem and inner voice, distorting our self-perception and abilities.
For example, persistent criticism from others can intensify our inner critic, making us more susceptible to negative self-talk. Social media, with its unrealistic expectations and constant comparison, further exacerbates low self-esteem and negative self-talk. Take a moment to ask yourself, How does my inner critic sound? Is it optimistic and kind or critical and anxious?
Overcoming Negative Self-Talk: Breaking the Cycle
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a pivotal instrument in reshaping self-perception and combating anxiety and negative emotion. Through engagement with a therapist, individuals acquire the capacity to discern and confront negative statements. They then substitute these with more optimistic and grounded affirmations, resulting in more positive feelings and behavior, aligned with their most authentic self. By becoming attuned to our thoughts and emotions, we can challenge and reframe cognitive distortions via these skills:
Learning to identify and challenge negative thoughts and beliefs
Developing more positive and realistic ways of thinking
Improving coping skills to manage stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions
Cultivating a positive and supportive inner voice that enhances self-esteem and confidence
To conquer negative self-talk, it's crucial to identify the thought patterns that hinder your progress. This endeavor, though daunting, can be navigated with the aid of self-compassion. Begin by acknowledging the negative self-talk and reframe it with a more optimistic perspective. For example, instead of internalizing "I'm a failure," rephrase it to "I made a mistake, but it does not define who I am."
Practicing mindfulness and meditation can serve as a valuable strategy to combat negative self-talk. These practices enhance your awareness of thoughts and emotions, enabling you to quiet down anxious or negative chatter. It is equally important to surround yourself with positive influences and engage in activities that bring you joy.
Remember, the journey to overcome negative self-talk is a gradual one, with inevitable setbacks. It's vital not to be overly critical of yourself when you revert to negative thought patterns. Instead, gently nudge yourself back towards an optimistic mindset.
As we conclude, ask yourself these questions:
What do you believe about yourself that affects your worth and potential in different areas of your life?
How do you describe yourself when thinking about your strengths, weaknesses, and the things that make you feel valuable?
What internal messages about yourself tend to repeat the most, and how do they impact your choices and behaviors?
~ Victoria Roger, LCSW - Therapist and Founder of Inner Harmony NY based in Massapequa, NY and serving clients across New York State
